Twenty years.

Twenty years ago I walked into a Radio Shack to return a new phone. I had the box; I had the receipt. What I didn’t have was the instruction booklet that came with it.

The young clerk immediately started to process the return. Then the manager came over, went through the box and pounced on me as soon as he realized that the instruction booklet was missing.

We argued for a while. For whatever reason, he seemed intent on teaching me some kind of lesson.

Why not just say, “Get out! I hate you…I hate everyone who knows you! I don’t want your business…no one here does!” Because that’s what fighting with me really said.

Either you’re going to make someone happy or you’re not. In this case, the manager didn’t. And I haven’t bought so much as a battery from Radio Shack since.

If you ever try to teach a customer a lesson, you’ll accomplish three things:

1. You’ll fail to teach the lesson
2. You’ll lose the customer
3. If that customer is anything like me, they’ll never forget the experience (or you).

So do great marketers.

The corporate version of the logline is known as the mission statement. And when you get the logline or the mission statement wrong, everything else falls apart.

Here’s what I mean:

It’s Saturday night. You and your friends decide to see a movie; you volunteer to read the choices while everyone else listens.

You read the logline for the first film, but no one understands what it’s about. So you start talking about everything else but the storyline – the director, the big-name star and the critic ratings. But it’s not enough.

“What else is playing?” someone asks. And just like that, everyone moves on.

A good logline pulls us in and promises to deliver more. Take the pitch for Pretty Woman as an example:

A businessman needs an escort for social events, and hires a beautiful prostitute he meets…only to fall in love.

Does your mission statement hook people like that? Or does it sound like this:

XYZ Corporation is committed to being the world’s premier [industry] company. To that end, we must continuously achieve superior financial and operating results while adhering to the highest standards of business conduct. These unwavering expectations provide the foundation for our commitments to those with whom we interact.

This doesn’t say anything. What else is playing?

Get your mission statement right first, before your product or service exists. That’s what great screenwriters do, and with good reason. If the logline works, it’s easier to develop distinct characters, the story becomes more clearly defined and the writing itself becomes easier.

If you don’t have a mission statement, maybe you should rethink your entire business. 

The cycle normally goes like this: the new plumber arrives to diagnose a problem. He quotes a price, and promises that his solution is the best one. Then he completes the job, collects payment and goes on his way.

A short time later, the problem resurfaces – and the plumber disappears.

I’ve had so many bad experiences that I can’t help but assume that all plumbers in my area are unreliable. Note: before I get pounded with emails, please understand that I’m not suggesting that all plumbers are unreliable – that’s just been my experience.

Recently I found someone who I thought might change my perspective. He showed up on time, figured out the solution to a problem no one else could, and quoted a reasonable price. I couldn’t hide my surprise. “I’m different,” he explained. “I care about every customer, big and small.”

Then the northeast was hit with an unexpected October snowstorm – and he disappeared as well. He was bombarded with new business, and never showed up to do the work.

Companies that operate in markets with a history of spotty service should take note: you can claim that you’re better than the competition all you want. If people have been burned in the past, they can’t help but wait to get stuck (again) with a company that doesn’t care. So even if you’re the best plumber, attorney or consultant in the game, you’d better be prepared to prove it again and again before they start to believe your story.

“I need to think about it” is another way of saying “I’m not sure it’s worth it.” I’m not sure it’s worth the price, worth my time, or worth the risk.

When you hear these words, there are two options:

1. Tell a better story.
2. Have a more compelling product in the first place.

Yet even with all of this clutter, many marketers are still excessively wordy.

My philosophy is simple: if I keep posts short and to the point, it increases the likelihood that people will read them.

I bring this up because one day you may find yourself writing a letter or an email or web copy…and you’ll be tempted to insert words that do nothing but take up space.

Don’t do it.

In today’s world, people read short sentences. Not long ones.

At this distance, every runner must adapt to unexpected conditions…tired and tight muscles, cramping, changes in the weather…it’s not easy. Those who finish push through the pain and continue to run, one step at a time.

The experience reminded me that starting something new is hopeful, exciting…and easy. Finishing what you started is challenging and painful.

Sounds familiar, right?

Today I inadvertently changed the settings in my email client, and couldn’t identify senders until I opened each email – except for one. My friend writes distinctive subject lines, so I knew his instantly.

U2 and my friend have something in common: brand DNA.

Do you? What about your company? It’s not easy to obtain, but I think it’s worth the effort.

Are you ready?

Twenty times. Mostly e-mails, with a few voice mails thrown in for good measure.

Heck, before you know it I’ll start getting pharmaceutical solicitations by e-mail as well.

Whoops – too late.

If you’re ever tempted to send something without permission, stop for a minute. Then ask yourself a question: will this activity make my brand more valuable? 

Actually, you can. And you should – at least initially.

I agree that access to capital has certain advantages. You can hire more salespeople, open more stores, and buy more advertising (although a costly ad doesn’t necessarily translate into an effective one).

But before you rush to find investors, consider this: if your product or service isn’t appealing when you’re small, it’s not likely to sell better when you’re big.

Here are two examples:

• The 2012 presidential primaries are right around the corner. If a candidate’s speech doesn’t persuade a small audience, that same speech won’t magically influence the entire nation.
• J. Crew sends me a daily email offer (here’s why). If the email doesn’t work when they send it to a hundred people, will it do better when it goes out to a thousand?

If you think you need funding to grow, take a step back for a moment. Chances are your time is better spent improving what you do rather than how many places you do it.

No. 17 is one of the top design firms in New York City.

Exhibit 1: CAA’s website.

Exhibit 2: No. 17’s website.

Yep, that’s all they have…a single page.

Just a thought: if we decided to focus more on our business than our marketing “collateral,” what would happen?

No!

It’s difficult to accept, but the fact is that no industry is immune to change – and sooner or later they fade away altogether.  Just because you were fortunate enough to make money one way yesterday doesn’t guaranty that you’ll pull it off tomorrow.  I’m sorry if that’s inconvenient, but it’s true.

It seems to me that your best alternative is to stake out new territory now – before industry norms start to die.

Do that, and chances are that you haven’t seen the good old days just yet.

Them: [insert wisecrack here].

Him: Sure, sure, very funny. You know, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.

Them: Where are you going?

Him: I don’t know, but I’m on my way.

Oddly enough, a few weeks ago I overheard a frustrated employee at Borders say something similar to a customer.

Customer: Do you think anyone will remember this store in 5 years?

Employee: Oh, please. No doubt about it – people are going to miss us when we’re gone.

Borders, of course, is going out of business.

When the news of the store closures broke, I was a little sad. I took my kids there once a week, and we loved exploring the children’s book section together. Would we really be able to replace the fun moments we had there?

Sure we would. After all, the store itself never delivered a heartwarming experience. In fact, until the kids started reading, I really had no need to set foot in a bookstore – everything was cheaper at Amazon.

So while I’ll miss those weekly trips, I won’t miss paying for overpriced books that I could just as easily have purchased online.

When I think about it, these feelings aren’t restricted to just the bookstore. I don’t miss visiting the bank either. Or the post office. I don’t miss going to music stores, and even though I once said that I couldn’t handle life without newspapers, I was wrong.

All of this is a roundabout way of asking a serious question: when your business is gone, will customers miss you?

If the answer is “no,” it’s not too late to change everyone’s mind.

But unlike the last line of my father-in-law’s joke, you’ll need to figure out where you’re going. Quickly.

I’m sorry that I’ve been away for so long. A lot of regular readers reached out during the hiatus, which was both surprising and flattering. It’s nice to be missed.

Going forward, I won’t keep you guessing about the timing of my next post.

Once a week (every Sunday) I’ll post an article about small business marketing. If I post during the week, I may occasionally wander into other areas important to entrepreneurs and small companies. But that will in no way affect whether or not a new article arrives on Sunday.

As always, you can follow along by RSS, email or just by checking the site.

Thanks for reading.

“It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Here’s how I’ll fix the mistake…”

Mysteriously, the words “it’s my fault” will defuse almost any angry customer. Yet most people try to avoid blame at all costs.

That’s mysterious as well.

Find the misspellings in this menu (it won’t take long). Did you cringe? Given the severity of one error in particular, I’m guessing that you did. More importantly, did you care? I hope so – but maybe not. And that’s a problem.

It’s a problem because plenty of people do care. They see spelling and punctuation errors and make an instant determination about whether or not you do things correctly.

First impressions today are as quick as a few letters in a sign or an email. Which means that spelling counts more than ever.

My income dropped substantially. Each alimony payment seemed to weigh heavier than the last. And for the first time in my life, I wondered if I’d be able to stay on my own two feet.

After getting past the worst of it, I realized that I had just experienced my generational “somatic marker” – the cognitive shortcut that forges a powerful association in the brain. It’s a bookmark to a period in life I’ll never forget, and it’s changed me for the better.

When I was younger, I focused a lot on what I could achieve. But I was more concerned with the financial rewards of achievement, not the actual accomplishments.

My father used to tell me and my brothers that it didn’t matter what you get in life – what matters is what you give. Which clearly means that until recently, my way of thinking was backwards.

What matters now is being generous. Not just with money, but with time and skill as well. Which is why I’m initiating charity efforts with a new site, babygorillas.org. I’ve owned this domain name for years, yet did nothing but redirect it to the .com address. But now that babygorillas.com has started to gain real momentum, I wanted to do something special – to take that interaction and make change in the world that was meaningful. To focus on giving, not getting. And a great way to do that is with a .org site.

The first .org project goes live in May. It’s a small beginning, but over time I know that these efforts will touch many people – and change them for the better.

If you’d like to follow our progress, you can sign-up for the launch announcement here.  I hope that you’ll consider staying with me on this journey.

According to founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, the trick is to have a “secret sauce.” And it turns out that they published the recipe for their own sauce on the Google site in 2002, but no one ever found it.

Today, I’m sharing the link to this recipe – click here to check it out. You can thank me later.

Oh, and no matter what you do for a living, have a little fun today. That’s what April Fools Day is all about.

That’s when you realize you could be sitting on the edge of something special. It’s difficult, creative, daring and generous…so you act. Maybe even take it to the brink of reality.

Then you hesitate.

That’s what most people do. They take time to prepare. Put in a lot of hard work and sacrifice. All because that’s what they think is valuable.

And it is…but it’s nothing compared with the ability to avoid that back burner.

1. Think that ideas have value.
2. Worry that someone will steal their ideas.
3. Should spend more time pondering why no one steals their “implementation.”

Going forward, let’s call any person that fits this description Bill Jr.

I frequently hear from Bill Jr. He wants to talk about his latest start-up idea – after I sign his non-disclosure agreement, of course.  Why the NDA? Because he thinks that his idea is worth millions.

And that’s the problem – the idea isn’t worth anything. An idea has no value until someone executes on that idea.

So Bill Jr., forgive me for laughing hysterically when you protect your ideas like a mother bear protects her cubs. I just can’t help it.