No one enjoys difficult conversations.
I experienced one of these the other night. I was engaged in small talk – in other words, nothing being discussed was going to alter the quality of my life. But small talk led to a colorful conversation, which quickly resulted in a difference of opinion. No big deal, right?
Not exactly. In this case, our emotions were strong. And since the other person was my fiancées best friend, the stakes were a bit higher than if I were debating someone I had just met. While I’ll spare you the details, let’s just say we could have sold tickets to the first act.
We didn’t make any progress in that initial round. I didn’t immediately realize why, but it turned out that something was missing from the conversation. We were both focused on what was important to us, and said nothing that mattered to the other person. Sound familiar?
It should. Think about how companies communicate with employees, customers, and prospects. Seems to me that something is missing there as well.
When employees complain about a management decision, are they frustrated with the actual decision or the way it was communicated? Do customers have issue with company “policy” or the fact that employees only know how to explain it from the firm’s perspective? And exactly how personalized is SPAM? Or that jingle that cost a fortune?
The answers are obvious. So is the solution. Every interaction should be personal.
That difficult conversation from the other night had a better second act. We both took a step back and thought about the other side. Then we sat down and talked again, this time from the other person’s perspective. Suddenly we were on the same page, so we hugged it out.
If you want to get someone to consider your point of view, DON’T talk about what matters to you. No one cares. Instead, give them something useful (information, a story, etc.) that will matter to THEM.
You can hug it out as well, but that’s optional.
